On Working with Carol Wall

Many communities entered a space of big grief at the sudden loss of Carol Wall, a brilliant, vibrant, and loving legend of a person. Carol was the embodiment of all things good. She spent her life devoted to justice and brought an amazing energy and warmth to every space she went. When I heard of her sudden passing my mind immediately went to the countless people and communities that would be enormously impacted by this news. She was involved in so many things and brought such integrity to everything she did. She was so loved. My impression of her was that she still had so much she wanted to do with the time that she had. It’s profound to lose a spirit like Carol. In the moments after getting the call, I felt grief for myself but mostly for the broader whole. She was the kind of person that left a mark on everyone she knew.

While I only worked with Carol for a short time, I am devastated by her death. In the time we spent together, she was a deeply trusted guide and comrade in restorative work. Carol came from the mediation lineage and was a tremendously skillful facilitator. Her and I were so aligned in our vision for a collective culture that centers justice and care. We felt like kindred spirits in that way. We immediately bonded over our pull to work in conflict and shared a deep overlap in our viewpoints. She was such a sage. In the presentations we gave, the meals we shared, and the deep conversations we had, she offered endless teachings and guidance. It’s this strange thing to feel so impacted by the loss of someone I ultimately knew so little about. I didn’t get the chance to learn more about her journey. We won’t get a chance to continue the union work we were doing. Carol won’t join my team and I in Halifax for strategic planning. Even though I was a small part of her world, she felt like a big part of mine. I have lost a person I could go to with my hardest questions, especially around race. I have lost a powerful role model to show me how to walk forward in this work. Carol knew that true struggles for justice are not for the faint of heart, and lived and loved with the same courage. 

Carol taught me so much in her words and actions. She demonstrated fierce but gentle facilitation. She taught me to name what I feel in a room. She reminded me to slow down when the work feels urgent. She offered insightful strategies to navigate difficult power imbalances. She shared intensely personal stories of racism, healing and repair, and had endless professional examples of hard-won resolutions that came about because of her resistance, compassion, and courage. I know she has left many people better than she found them. She was so encouraging in the work I am doing and left me feeling so affirmed. It was a relief to meet her and know her and I am so sad that we weren’t able to do the things we talked about doing together. 

As I heal from this loss, I feel that I am now a seedling in Carol Wall’s legacy. I will honor her in the work I do and have already, many times, held her in my heart and mind in moments of uncertainty. Her principled stance was one that was felt and something I can draw on.

I am immensely grateful to the changemaker women who brought Carol and I together. I am also intensely grateful that Carol left resources to look to in her absence. I am grateful for her book, Educating for Changing Unions. I am grateful for her writings on race. I am grateful that so many people knew her so I can learn more about her from these connections. Even this week, while presenting to a group of union leaders in Toronto, I mentioned Carol and her remarkable restorative approach to mediation, and all of them immediately nodded their heads in understanding. She was a legend. If you knew her and want to share stories with me, I welcome this wholeheartedly. She would want that for us, to build community. 

To those who were close to Carol, I hold you tenderly in my heart and send you so much love and care. I can’t imagine the pain of being close to her and losing her so suddenly. 

Here is the last image I have with her - a dreamy evening of intimacy and care.